Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
another moral hangover. fuck.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
