i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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