Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
