I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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