You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Do vagina's smell?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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