Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Randomize
