dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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