shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
