I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
