Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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