just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
