even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
