Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
