the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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