This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
