i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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