Well apparently he's into motor boating.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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