Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
