i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
