So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
