God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
