Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
