Plan B is the new Plan A
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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