butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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