have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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