So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
