we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
