I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i will never coherently bang her
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
