Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
