On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
