I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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