I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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