Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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