I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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