There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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