Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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