He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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