I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
50% drunk capacity currently
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
