whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
