...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
