im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
