i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
