Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
