Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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