I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
