fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Randomize
