I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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