Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
