Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
