i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
