i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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