I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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