sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
