Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I smell stomach acid.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
