Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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