I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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