I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize