Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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