i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
