I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
