i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
