So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
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