if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
