I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Randomize
