I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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