Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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