I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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