my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
