I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
