me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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