piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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